This week I've been feeling the need to just stop everything and gather up my thoughts, ideas, hopes, and just get something, anything, moving in a creative direction.
Even though I had nearly two weeks off of work for the holidays and Andrew's visit I feel like I didn't get much of a break at all. I've been running (and towing) my car back and forth to the shop for repairs. The kitten has been to the vet every week since I got him due to various things. My bank account is growing smaller. These are the times that I too easily let my anxieties take over me. It's hard to get past that.
What I really want, and really need right now is to just get my creativity moving again. I have all of these ideas of things I want to create, but they never seem to get anywhere. I never feel like I have the time to get any of it done. I wish I could take a week and just devote all my time and energy to my art and not worry about anything else. Today when I was driving home I felt that God put this idea upon me for a new book and it made me really want to just start drawing and never stop. But I never started. I don't know what's holding me back right now. I think part of it is this weather. The cold just makes me want to curl up under a blanket as soon as I get home from work and sleep. It's depressing to have to turn on all the lights in my house at 5:00 just to be in a comfortably lit environment. I've never felt so affected by the winter up until this year. I also miss my studio. It was easy to go there and just be in a working mindset. I just don't have that in my space at home.
I feel like I need something refreshing and new to get me rolling and I can't just wait for Spring to come along for that to happen.
1.07.2009
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